Test

Subject: Personal growth training.

Topic: Types of conflicting personalities.

Completed by: 3rd year student

group No. 32,

extramural

specialty: Public Relations

Checked: Full name…………………..

Conflict is a competition between parties with divergent interests. It is impossible to avoid conflicts, however, it is possible to learn to behave in the most effective way in conflict situations and, if possible, to reduce their negative consequences. Any conflict is associated with emotional experiences and is a source of stress. Stress is followed by depression, unconstructive ways of “exiting” the situation - overeating, alcoholism, smoking, drug use.

The conflict personality is understood as a property that reflects the frequency of entering into interpersonal conflicts. Such people often initiate conflicts, regardless of whether there is an objective reason. There are several types of conflicting personalities: demonstrative, rigid, uncontrollable, hyper-precise, conflict-free. Their characteristics vary.

Demonstrative type. Strives to be the center of attention and often turns out to be a source of conflict, although he does not admit it. Reacts violently and emotionally. Rigid type. Suspicious, inflexible, lacks a critical perception of the surrounding reality. Needs constant confirmation of its importance. Unmanaged type. His behavior is almost unpredictable. An impulsive person who disregards generally accepted norms. High level of aggression. Ultra-precise type. He is distinguished by increased demands on himself and others, he is touchy and anxious. Restrained in emotional expressions. Conflict-free type. Unstable in assessments and opinions, overly susceptible to other people's opinions. Strives to avoid conflict situations. Has a weak will.

Under personality conflict its integral property is understood, reflecting the frequency of entry into interpersonal conflicts. With high levels of conflict, the individual becomes a constant initiator of tense relationships with others, regardless of whether this is preceded by problematic situations.

The characteristics presented in the Table “Types of Conflict Personalities” (demonstrative, rigid, uncontrollable, hyper-precise, conflict-free) are most common, but do not give full list.

For example, choleric type a person's temperament can often lead to him solving conflicting situations in a conflicting way. This is due to the fact that choleric people have an unstable and mobile type. nervous system. At the same time, he quickly “cools down” and moves on to non-conflict interaction.

Exaggerated or underestimated level of claims also contributes to the emergence of interpersonal or intrapersonal conflicts. The level of aspirations influences the definition of an ideal long-term goal and the choice of goal next action, and finally to the desired level of personal self-esteem. High self-esteem usually causes a negative reaction from others, while low self-esteem results in increased anxiety, lack of self-confidence, avoidance of responsibility, etc.

People interact with at different levels culture, habits, rules of behavior. These differences can be caused by both character traits and education, value orientations, life experiences, that is, factors associated with the process of socialization of the individual. But there are people who are simply difficult to communicate, whose behavior is inconvenient for others and who are increased sources of conflict.

But most often, according to psychologists, there are the following varieties conflicting personalities:

Demonstrative. Wants to be the center of attention. Likes to look good in the eyes of others. His attitude towards people is determined by how they treat him. He finds it easy to deal with superficial conflicts and admires his suffering and resilience. Adapts well to different situations. Rational behavior is poorly expressed. There is emotional behavior. Planning of one’s activities is carried out situationally and poorly implemented. Avoids painstaking, systematic work. Does not shy away from conflicts, feels good in situations of conflict interaction.

Rigid. Suspicious. Has high self-esteem. Constantly requires confirmation of one's own importance. Often does not take into account changes in situation and circumstances. Straightforward and inflexible. With great difficulty he accepts the point of view of others and does not really take their opinions into account. Respect from others is taken for granted. Expressions of hostility on the part of others are perceived as an insult. Little critical of his actions. Painfully touchy, hypersensitive to imaginary or real injustices.

Ungovernable. Impulsive, lacks self-control. The behavior of such a person is difficult to predict. Behaves defiantly and aggressively. Often in the heat of the moment, he does not pay attention to generally accepted norms of communication. Characterized by a high level of aspirations. Not self-critical. He tends to blame others for many failures and troubles. Cannot competently plan his activities or consistently implement plans. The ability to correlate one’s actions with goals and circumstances is not sufficiently developed. Few lessons are learned from past experiences (even bitter ones).

Ultra-precise. He is meticulous about his work. Places higher demands on himself. He makes high demands on others, and does it in such a way that the people with whom he works seem to find fault with him. Has increased anxiety. Overly sensitive to details. Tends to attach undue importance to the comments of others. Sometimes he suddenly breaks off relations with friends and acquaintances because it seems to him that he was offended. He suffers from himself, experiences his own miscalculations, failures, and sometimes even pays for them with illnesses (insomnia, headaches, etc.). Restrained in external, especially emotional, manifestations. Has little sense of real relationships in the group.

"Conflict-free." Unstable in assessments and opinions. Has easy suggestibility. Internally contradictory. There is some inconsistency in behavior. Focuses on immediate success in situations. Doesn't see the future well enough. Depends on the opinions of others. Excessively strives for compromise. Doesn't have enough willpower. Does not think deeply about the consequences of his actions and the reasons for the actions of others.

The presented “types of conflicting personalities” are the most common, but do not provide a complete list. For example, a person’s choleric type of temperament can often lead him to resolve conflicting situations in a conflicting way. This is due to the fact that choleric people have an unstable and mobile type of nervous system. At the same time, he quickly “cools down” and moves on to non-conflict interaction. An overestimated or underestimated level of aspirations also contributes to the emergence of interpersonal or intrapersonal conflicts. The level of aspirations influences the definition of an ideal long-term goal, the choice of the goal of the next action, and, finally, the desired level of self-esteem of an individual. High self-esteem usually causes a negative reaction from others, while low self-esteem results in increased anxiety, lack of self-confidence, avoidance of responsibility, etc.

In addition to these, there are some other types of conflicting personalities.

In his work Dealing with Difficult People, Robert M. Bramson highlighted whole line These types of people are difficult to deal with. Let's name some of them.

1) “Aggressiveists” - they constantly bully others, say barbs and get irritated if they are not listened to.

2) “Complainers” - they always have something to complain about. They usually do little to solve the problem and do not want to take responsibility.

3) “Silent” - calm and laconic; no one knows what they really think about others or what they want.

4) “Super-agile” - they will agree with you on any matter and promise support, but their words often differ from their deeds. They do not keep their promises and do not live up to the expectations placed on them.

5) “Eternal pessimists” - they always predict failure in business and try to say “no,” because they usually believe that nothing will work out because of what they are planning.

6) “Know-it-alls” - consider themselves superior to others, because they believe that they know the ultimate truth and everything in the world. At the same time, they also want others to know about this “superiority”. They can act like a "bulldozer", pushing everyone in their path with their "knowledge". But quite often it turns out that they are mistaken, because basically they only play their roles.
American conflictologist Jeanie G. Scott adds a number of other types to this list of people who are difficult to communicate with:

1. "Steam roller"/"Sherman tank" type. These people are rude and unceremonious, believing that everyone around them should give way to them. They may behave this way because they are convinced that they are right and want everyone around them to know about it. At the same time, some of these people may be afraid of revealing that they are wrong. For a steamroller, having its image undermined is a terrible prospect.

Before moving on to the typology of conflicting personalities, we should consider the very concept of “conflict personality”. What characterizes a conflict personality? And what are the behavioral features of a conflict personality?

The concept of a conflict personality

A conflict personality is a person who initiates and produces an increased number of conflicts. The main character trait of such a person is, accordingly, his conflict, which is determined by the action of such psychological factors as temperament characteristics, level of aggressiveness, competence in communication, emotional condition. As well as a number of social factors, such as living and activity conditions, environment and social environment, general level of culture, etc.

Characteristics of a conflict personality

A person with conflict often reacts very violently to opinions or statements opposing him, talks a lot, and almost all conversations with such a person end in a showdown, and a banal conversation with him can develop into a heated argument and even a scandal. A conflict-ridden personality looks for reasons for disputes in everything; he is attracted to all kinds of intrigues and gossip.

Very often such a person is characterized by pickiness, skepticism, aggressiveness, negativism, egocentrism and others. individual qualities. Moreover, such characterological features of a conflict personality are most likely formed against the background of psychological trauma experienced in the past, the consequences of which entailed conflicting defensive behavioral forms and manifestations.

Types of conflicting personalities and their characteristics

Conflictologists identify 5 types of conflicting personalities and their behavior patterns:
unmanaged type conflict personality, conflict-free personality, rigid type of conflict personality, conflict personality ultra-precise type and a conflict personality of a demonstrative type.

Characteristics of a conflict personality of a rigid type

Suspicious. Straightforward and inflexible. Has high self-esteem. Constantly requires confirmation of one's own importance. Often does not take into account changes in situation and circumstances. Conflict personality rigid type has great difficulty accepting the point of view of others, regardless of their opinions.

Expressions of hostility on the part of others are perceived as an insult. Not critical of his actions. Painfully touchy, hypersensitive to imaginary or real manifestations of injustice.

Behavior of a conflict personality of a rigid type

A rigid type of conflict personality can be recognized among others by his inability to listen and listen to others, and this can be felt from the first minutes of a conversation with such a person. Understanding someone else's opinion and accepting the fact that it may be true for him is something out of the ordinary.

A conflict personality of a rigid type always says what is on his tongue, without thinking about how appropriate it is in a given situation. If you express a point of view opposite to his opinion, he is more likely to regard it as an insult or as a reason to quarrel. Very vindictive person who does not know how to monitor his own actions.

Uncontrollable type of conflict personality and its brief characteristics

Impulsive, lacks self-control. Such a conflict personality is characterized by poorly predictable behavior and often behaves defiantly and aggressively. May not pay attention to generally accepted norms of communication. Characterized by an uncontrollable type of conflict personality high level claims. Not self-critical.

He tends to blame others for his failures or troubles. Cannot plan activities competently and consistently implement plans. Such a conflicted personality has an underdeveloped ability to correlate his actions with goals and circumstances.

Behavior of a conflict personality of an uncontrollable type

An uncontrollable type of conflict personality can be determined by such behavioral characteristics as: uncontrollable aggressive behavior towards others, high self-esteem, impulsiveness, unpredictability of actions. Accordingly, in an organization or team, such a person is treated with caution, being wary of his aggression. Therefore, it is often isolated because it does not bring benefits to the overall group activity and does not support the group’s values ​​and goals.

Characteristics of a high-precision conflict personality

He is meticulous about his work and responsibilities. At the same time, meticulously placing inflated demands on both himself and others. Oddly enough, the conflict personality of the hyper-precise type has increased anxiety and is overly sensitive to details.

Such a person tends to attach undue importance to the comments of others. And he can even break off relations with friends because of the perceived offense inflicted on him. He worries greatly about his mistakes and failures, sometimes paying with poor health (insomnia, headaches, neuroses, etc.). Restrained in external, especially emotional manifestations.

Behavior of a conflict personality of the ultra-precise type

The ultra-precise type of conflict personality can be immediately recognized by its picky behavior. He always tries to be precise, scrupulous, tries to follow his own clearly established rules. He is extremely concerned that everything is always done perfectly, sometimes he even becomes a boring perfectionist. Very worried about not being able to get somewhere or not doing something, excessive punctuality, excessive sensitivity and suspicion.

Brief description of the conflict personality of the demonstrative type

The demonstrative type of conflict personality always strives to be the center of attention. Likes to produce good impression on others. Moreover, his attitude towards others is determined by how they treat him. Superficial conflicts are easy for such a person. He suffers demonstratively and admires his resilience. This conflict personality is characterized by a high level of aspirations and an inability to self-criticize.

A conflict personality of the demonstrative type, unlike others, easily and well adapts to various situations and feels comfortable in conflict situations. Rational behavior is poorly expressed. Activity planning is carried out situationally and poorly implemented. Basically avoids painstaking and systematic work.

Behavior of a conflict personality of a demonstrative type

Conflict is their element, they do not hesitate to express themselves in it, without particularly paying attention to the tone of their speech or its appropriateness. They can make a whole epic out of a minor dispute. In a serious conflict they hold on tightly and courageously. The mood of a demonstrative type of conflict personality is determined by how their opponent treats the conflict itself.

Demonstrative types of conflict personalities never admit even to themselves that they are often the source of a dispute; they always find someone to blame. Such people are constantly surrounded by the public, they love popularity and attention, this increases their self-esteem and fuels their vanity. They never sit in one place for a long time and are always in a hurry to get somewhere. Such a person is impulsive and lacks self-control. Characterized by poorly predictable behavior, often behaves defiantly and aggressively. May not pay attention to generally accepted norms of communication.

And finally, a conflict-free personality of the conflict-free type is characterized by

Unstable assessment of one's beliefs and opinions. Internally contradictory. Has easy suggestibility. Depends on the opinions of others. There is some inconsistency in behavior. Focuses on immediate success in situations. Doesn't see the future well enough. A conflict-free personality is overly eager to compromise. Doesn't have enough willpower. Often he does not even think about the causes and consequences of the actions of both himself and those around him.

Behavior of a conflict-free personality

It differs from others in that at the beginning of any conflict situation tries to avoid it or shift his responsibility for its beginning to someone else. This type of conflict personality is easily suggestible; it is not difficult to force him to change his mind, since he strongly takes into account the opinions of others. He makes his decisions without looking at their future prospects, without thinking about the consequences.

Introduction

Types of conflicting personalities

Bibliography

Introduction

Quite recently, about 50 years ago, conflictology appeared at the intersections of many sciences, and primarily two - psychology and sociology. Of course, it cannot be said that this science did not exist before, but how independent phenomenon Conflictology appeared only in the 50s of the 20th century and was originally called “sociology of conflict.” This name appeared in connection with the works of A. Coser - “Functions social conflicts" and R. Dahrendorf - "Social classes and class conflicts in industrial society." Further, thanks to the research of D. Rapoport, M. Sheriff, R. Doz, D. Scott and others, the so-called “psychology of conflict” is being formed. In the 70s, there was a need for conflict management practices and psychological training aimed at teaching behavior in conflict interactions. The PIR (Gradual and Reciprocal Initiatives to Reduce Tension) methodology emerges, which is necessary for resolving international conflicts.

In the studies of D. Scott, S. and G. Bower, G. Kelman special place are occupied by conflict resolution techniques, and in the USA, when developing technologies for negotiations with the participation of an intermediary, even educational establishments to train such specialists. At this time, the Harvard method of “principled negotiations” by W. Urey and R. Fisher became famous.

Since the main demand and interest is precisely the conflict: the reasons for its occurrence, types, possible ways of resolution, it becomes the central topic of conflictology. Often, in the past, the conflict was viewed from an advantage from the outside, i.e. from the point of view social group or conflict situation. However, today this is not becoming more and more important, because not everyone wants and can follow conflict resolution techniques. Every day, so-called conflict personalities appear in society more and more, and they stand out clearly in the group. And psychology and conflictology are faced with the task of understanding what conflicting personalities are, what are the reasons for their formation and whether they can adapt in society.

Who is called a conflict personality?

To further describe conflicting personalities, it is necessary to understand the terminology. Conflict (from Latin conflictus) is 1) A state of a person’s dissatisfaction with any circumstances of his life, associated with the presence of conflicting interests, aspirations, and needs that give rise to affects and stress. 2) An intractable contradiction that arises between people and is caused by the incompatibility of their views, interests, goals, and needs. These definitions vary by category. The first is the definition of internal conflict, and the second is the definition of interpersonal conflict. However, it is known that this is not the broadest definition of conflict, since there are many other subtypes. But they are all similar in one thing: conflict is the ultimate aggravation of contradictions.

What can we say about personality? V.S. Merlin gives the following definition: a holistic, stable, individually unique and socially typical organization of human consciousness, which determines the active creative nature of his activity and has social value. A conflict personality itself presupposes the presence of some contradictions in the consciousness or subconscious of a person, which actively or passively influence the nature of his behavior.

Before typing a personality, it is necessary to understand the origins and reasons for its formation.

Formation of a conflict personality

Since the role of conflict in the formation and study of personality is very great, many psychologists considered it necessary, one way or another, to reflect their attitude to conflict in their works. S. Freud was the first to propose considering conflict as an intrapsychic phenomenon. He argued that external conflict is the result of the contradictory nature of man himself. In his writings, he described the conflict mainly between “I” and “It”. “It” is an instinct, an unconscious component of a person. “It” is a person’s biological needs that must be satisfied all the time, otherwise a conflict with the “I” is inevitable. “I” is the component that controls conscious actions. But according to Freud’s theory, there is also a third component - the “Super-I”, which is also called the “Ideal of the Self”. Then, being between two fires, the “I” suffers from all three threats: the external world, the severity of the “Super-I” and the libido of the “It”. The constant clash and contradiction of the three “I” in a person is a dynamic internal conflict, which is reflected in external behavior person.

K. Jung in his works “The Conflict of the Child’s Soul” argued that further human neurosis and the severity of adaptation to people are formed in childhood. He emphasized the importance of teaching a child understanding and the importance of thinking for resolving internal mental conflicts. And any deception or neglect on the part of adults can further lead the child to incorrect conclusions, which subsequently make it difficult to perceive himself.

Karen Horney also emphasized the importance of personality formation in childhood. She also coined the term “basal anxiety” - a pervasive feeling of loneliness and isolation in a hostile world. This condition occurs if the child’s need for security has not been fully satisfied. As a result, “basic anxiety” becomes the foundation for the emergence of a conflict personality. After all, a neurotic person requires more attention to himself, his need for love and recognition is much higher than that of others. Such a person reacts more aggressively if something does not happen as he would like. Thus, a conflict personality first of all seeks evidence of its importance according to the theory of Karen Horney.

Alfred Adler's theory of inferiority complex is very famous. During the first five years of life, a person is under the influence of unfavorable factors that form an inferiority complex in him. Further, conflicts arise in connection with attempts to compensate for the complex. Adler identifies 3 types of compensation:

· Adequate compensation, coincidence of excellence with the content of social interests (creativity, music, sports, etc.)

· Overcompensation, accumulation occurs, hypertrophied development of one of the abilities, predominantly of an egoistic nature.

· Imaginary compensation, the complex is compensated by illness or other factors beyond the control of the person.

Thus, a person becomes a hostage to his complexes and is forced to express himself, sometimes actively and positively, and sometimes aggressively and negatively.

These are just a few of the many theories about the conflict that lies within humans. There are many other theories that determine the causes of conflicts, but not all of them are related to personality conflict.

Types of conflicting personalities

There are many classifications of types of conflicting personalities: according to the reasons for their formation, according to the degree of manifestation of negative qualities, according to behavioral patterns. Such classifications are extremely important. Not only psychologists are interested in the typology of conflicting personalities. It is extremely necessary for people, corporate managers, working in teams or people in the same creative or project group to know the main signs and ways to avoid conflict.

We will involve the research of domestic psychologists (V.P. Zakharov, F.M. Borodkin, Yu.A. Simonenko, N.M. Koryak). Today, there are 6 main types of conflicting personalities:

1. Demonstrative type:

He always wants to be the best in everything. Loves to be the center of attention. People are divided into those who treat him well and the rest, “insignificant”. Emotional, he does everything according to the situation and rarely plans his activities. Quickly adapts to different situations, prone to superficial conflicts. Never considers himself a source of conflict, even if he is.

2. Rigid type:

“Rigid” is an inflexible, unplastic personality with high self-esteem; she is characterized by ambition and unceremoniousness. Most of these people are self-centered people who do not want to listen or take into account the opinions of others. Behavior is unceremonious, straightforward, rude. They have a hard time adapting to the situation because they cannot catch changes in time. At the same time, they are overly suspicious of the people around them. They take praise for granted, but any criticism is perceived as an insult. They have an inflated sense of justice, but do not always try it on themselves. behavior conflict personality

3. Unmanaged type:

People are impulsive, inert, unpredictable. Their main problem is lack of self-control. The behavior is most often defiant and aggressive. They also have a hard time withstanding criticism, but unlike the rigid type, they tend to blame others for their own failures. They gain little experience from life; it is difficult for them to correlate their actions and actions with the circumstances. It is difficult for them to implement plans in life.

4. Super precision type:

This person is demanding of everything and everyone. Moreover, it looks as if he is finding fault. Distrustful of others, suspicious, overly anxious. Sensitive to evaluation from superiors, well understands real relationships in the group. Sometimes he stops communicating with friends because he feels that he has been offended. As a result, illnesses arise: headaches, insomnia. However, outwardly he will never show a palette of emotions.

5. Conflict-free type:

This person is easily suggestible; it is difficult for him to form his own opinion. Because of this, he can be inconsistent. Heavily depends on other people's opinions and focuses on immediate success. Not having sufficient willpower, he always strives for a compromise. Rarely analyzes his actions and the actions of others.

Conflict personality - demonstrative type .

Wants to be the center of attention. Likes to look good in the eyes of others. His attitude towards people is determined by how they treat him. He finds it easy to deal with superficial conflicts and admires his suffering and resilience. Adapts well to different situations. Rational behavior is poorly expressed. There is emotional behavior. Planning of one’s activities is carried out situationally and poorly implements it. Avoids painstaking systematic work. Does not shy away from conflicts, feels good in situations of conflict interaction. Often turns out to be a source of conflict, but does not consider himself as such.

Conflict personality - rigid type .

Suspicious. Has high self-esteem. Confirmation of your own importance is constantly required. Often does not take into account changes in situation and circumstances. Straightforward and inflexible. With great difficulty he accepts the point of view of others and does not really take their opinions into account. Expressions of respect from others are taken for granted. An expression of hostility on the part of others is perceived by him as an insult. Little critical of his actions. Painfully touchy, hypersensitive to imaginary or real injustices.

Conflict personality - uncontrollable type .

Impulsive, lacks self-control. The behavior of such a number is difficult to predict. Behaves defiantly and aggressively. Often in the heat of the moment does not pay attention to generally accepted norms. Characterized by a high level of aspirations. Not self-critical. He tends to blame others for many failures and troubles. Cannot properly plan his activities or consistently implement plans. The ability to correlate one’s actions with goals and circumstances is not sufficiently developed. From past experiences (even bitter ones) little benefit is gained for the future.

Conflict personality - highly accurate type .

He is meticulous about his work. Places higher demands on himself. He makes high demands on those around him, and does it in such a way that the people he works with feel like they are picking on him. Has increased anxiety. Overly sensitive to details. Tends to attach undue importance to the comments of others. Sometimes he suddenly breaks off relations with friends and acquaintances because it seems to him that he was offended. He suffers from himself, experiences his own mistakes and failures, sometimes even paying for them with illnesses (insomnia, headaches, etc.). Restrained in external, especially emotional manifestations. Doesn't feel very good about real relationships in the group.

A conflict personality is a conflict-free type.

Unstable in assessments and opinions. Has easy suggestibility. Internally contradictory. There is some inconsistency in behavior. Focuses on immediate success in situations. Doesn't see the future well enough. Depends on the opinions of others, especially leaders. Excessively strives for compromise. Doesn't have enough willpower. Does not think deeply about the consequences of his actions and the reasons for the actions of others

Types of Conflict Resolution

Persuasion, suggestion

An attempt to reconcile irreconcilable interests

The “game” method is to attract more influential patrons to your side

Advantages - saving time

Disadvantages - the conflict is not resolved, but only externally suppressed

Partnership type - conflict resolution through the use of constructive methods.

Main features:

constructive interaction between the leader and conflicting parties.

perception of the opposing side's arguments

willingness to compromise, mutual search for solutions; development of mutually acceptable alternatives

the desire to combine personal and organizational factors

perception as a normal factor of activity

Benefits - closer to real solution problems, allows you to find unifying factors, satisfy the interests of the parties

The influence of irrational views on conflicts.

Albert Ellis came to the conclusion that emotion is not a simple immediate reaction to a situation. An emotional reaction always arises as a response not so much to the actual event, but to how we interpret it. This fundamental tenet of cognitive therapy is illustrated by the famous ABC formula.

A ( activating event ) - activating event: a situation, a stimulus that determines the response process.

IN ( beliefs ) - beliefs, expectations, attitudes, beliefs, ideas about the situation, interpretations and conclusions.

WITH ( consequences ) - consequences: emotions, feelings, behavior.

Our emotions will depend not so much on real events, but on “B” - our thoughts about what is happening.

Ellis called thinking that triggers destructive experiences clogging, or destructive. He described four types of the most common patterns(patterns of) destructive thinking. When a person is very upset or does unreasonable things, you can almost always identify one or more of these patterns: blaming people or yourself, inflating demands, instilling fear, devaluing the importance of what is happening.

Blaming people or yourself , or, as they sometimes say when popularizing psychological knowledge, “accusatory thoughts”: “It’s all because of her... If it weren’t for him... All because he’s a bad friend... It’s all my fault... I have no forgiveness..."

Excessive demands . This pattern of thinking is sometimes called “commitment thoughts.” Instead of describing his expectations, a person makes higher demands on himself and others: “I should have been more decisive... I should have said the wrong thing... I was obliged to prevent this...” or, “He was obliged to keep a secret... He should be more careful, more attentive, kinder..."

Fear-mongering, exaggeration of importance . “What if... It will be terrible if... I just hate it when... It drives me crazy when... It’s unbearable that...”

Devaluation of the importance of what is happening, self-justification . "So what? I don’t care... I don’t care... Who cares..."

The first three destructive thinking patterns cause negative, destructive experiences.

The fourth - self-justification - blocks the release of stress, encouraging you to ignore its presence. This style of behavior turns out to be especially destructive for psychological health and relationships with significant people, since destructive experiences that relieve stress do not find a way out, and other methods of release are not used.

Causes of human irrationality according to Ellis.

Virtually all people, even very intelligent and educated people, are susceptible to basic irrational ideas and self-deprecation.

Virtually all irrational ideas (absolutist "shoulds" and "musts") can be found in almost all social and cultural groups studied by history and anthropology.

Many irrational behaviors go against what we are taught by our parents, peers, and the media. for example, the habit of postponing important things until later, lack of self-discipline,

People - even very smart and educated ones - often accept new irrational ideas after they have gotten rid of old ones.

People who work hard to combat irrational behavior often fall prey to that very behavior. Atheists and agnostics exhibit fanaticism and worship of absolutist philosophy, and deeply religious people act immorally.

Understanding irrational thoughts, feelings and actions only partially helps to change them. For example, people may be aware that drinking large quantities of alcohol is very harmful, but this knowledge will not necessarily help them abstain from binge drinking.

People often return to irrational habits and behavioral patterns, even if they have done a lot to overcome them.

People often find it easier to learn self-deprecating behavior than self-enhancing behavior. So, it is easier for them to overeat than to follow a reasonable diet.

People often mislead themselves into thinking that certain negative events (such as divorce, stress, or some kind of misfortune) cannot happen to them.

According to Ellis, irrational views can be reduced to 3 main absolutist shoulds (or core beliefs):

I have (obligation) to do everything well/get approval significant others, if this doesn’t happen, then it’s a nightmare, horror, I won’t survive it.

You should- treat me fairly and respectfully if you don't treat me that way. You- are bad and I can't stand you and your crappy behavior.

Life should (God, fate) be the way I want it to be and when something goes wrong, it’s a nightmare and I can’t live in this terrible unfair world.

Cognitive distortion/irrational views according to Ellis.

All or nothing thinking.“If I fail at least some important thing - and I must not fail - I am a complete loser and a completely unworthy person of love!”

Jumping to conclusions and negative, illogical conclusions."Because they saw me fail miserably - and I always have to be on top - they will think of me as a stupid worm."

Predicting the future."Because they laugh at my failure - and I always have to be on top - they will always despise me."

Focusing on the negative.“I can’t stand the fact that everything is not going the way it should go, and I don’t see anything good in my life.”

Misunderstanding of the positive.“When they praise me, they just feel sorry for me and forget all the stupid things that I absolutely should not have done.”

Ever and never.“The living conditions should be good, but they are actually terrible and intolerable, and it will always be like that, and I will never be happy.”

Understatement.“The good shots in this game were random and didn’t matter. But the bad ones - which I had no right to do - were simply terrible and completely unforgivable."

Emotional reasoning.“Because I performed simply poorly, in a way that I absolutely shouldn’t have, I feel like a complete fool, and this proves that I really am no good for hell!”

Labeling and overgeneralization."I have no right to fail important work, and since I did this, I am a complete loser and a lost person!”

Taking it personally.“Because I behave much worse than I should, and they laugh, I’m sure they’re only laughing at me, and it’s terrible!”

False "I".“When I'm not as good as I should be and they keep accepting me and praising me, I feel like I'm a fake and will soon lose my mask and show my creepy face.”

Perfectionism.“I understand that I did this task well, but I have to do this kind of work perfectly, and therefore I am a worthless person.”

Cognitive conceptualization by Judith Beck.

According to this concept, people's emotions and behavior depend on their perception of various life circumstances.

Automatic thoughts (can be caught, conscious)

Intermediate Beliefs

Deep Beliefs (Unconscious)

Automatic thoughts - evaluative thoughts are fleeting, not the result of reflection, inference and not necessarily supported by evidence. They appear on their own, short, fragmentary.

Intermediate Beliefs - cannot be clearly expressed in words, include relationship, rules(I must), assumptions(if I work hard, maybe I will achieve it..)

Deep beliefs are attitudes that are so deep and fundamental that people often cannot clearly express them or even simply realize them.

Cognitive errors and dysfunctional beliefs according to Aaron Beck

A person who consciously leaves, runs away from conflict, shifts responsibility for decision-making to others (a manager to his deputy) is unprincipled. Meanwhile, the conflict grows like a snowball and falls on such a person, this is especially painful and fraught with consequences if the leader has this type of personality.

It is characterized by the following behavior. Unstable in assessments and opinions. Has easy suggestibility. Internally contradictory. He is characterized by some inconsistency of behavior. Focuses on immediate success in situations. Doesn't see the future well enough. Depends on the opinions of others. Doesn't have enough willpower. Does not think deeply about the consequences of his actions. Excessively strives for compromise.

The presented “types of conflicting personalities” are the most common, but do not provide a complete list. For example, a person’s choleric type of temperament can often lead him to resolve conflicting situations in a conflicting way. This is due to the fact that choleric people have an unstable and mobile type of nervous system. At the same time, he quickly “cools down” and moves on to non-conflict interaction. An overestimated or underestimated level of aspirations also contributes to the emergence of interpersonal or intrapersonal conflicts. The level of aspirations influences the definition of an ideal long-term goal, the choice of the goal of the next action, and, finally, the desired level of self-esteem of an individual. High self-esteem usually causes a negative reaction from others, while low self-esteem results in increased anxiety, lack of self-confidence, avoidance of responsibility, etc.

In addition to these, there are some other types of conflicting personalities.

The personality type - purposefully conflicting - views conflict as a means of achieving its own goals. Often acts as an active party in starting a conflict. Prone to manipulation psychological games in relationships. Acts rationally in a conflict situation, is able to calculate possible options its development, soberly assesses the strengths and weak sides in the positions of the parties. Possesses well-developed communication techniques in a heated argument. Represents the most dangerous type of conflict personality.

“Tank” is a rude, unceremonious person, going to the breach, despising the subtleties of relationships and other people’s feelings. They are characterized by a head held high, a loud voice and a sense of self-confidence. Tanks are absolutely confident that they know the needs and aspirations of their colleagues and that their advice is the most competent. Selfish and confident that they are right. Believes that others should give way to him. Doesn't like it when someone questions his rightness. Concerned about his authority. Painfully proud. He is wary of jokes that have similar content to the current situation. He sees every joke as a hidden attack on his personality and dignity. Attempts to discuss with him his attitude towards people (with the hope of fixing something) will be in vain. Without exception, all your complaints will be attributed to your bad character - after all, many with whom he communicates agree with him. Such a person is focused on business, people are a tool for him.

It’s not easy to protect yourself from the “Tank”; it’s also very difficult to protect others - he’ll still find someone to take over. Recommendations for communication: calmly stick to your point of view; wealth of argumentation and oratory have no meaning and will not give any effect; if open insults begin, say that you do not intend to continue the conversation, since “Tank” has violated the rules of decency; You can make some concessions, but the main thing is to stand your ground, without reproaches, accusations, or tearing off masks.

But you can get along with them. The only thing tanks don't like is aggressive reactions from those with whom they communicate. When communicating, you need to look them straight in the eyes, call them by name and surname, when expressing disagreement, use the phrases “in my opinion”, “as it seems to me”, etc. more often. To achieve some success in a dispute with tanks, you need to give They have the opportunity to “let off steam”, and then they often become tame. The strategy for communicating with such people, according to the author, should be the following: if the subject of the conflict is not particularly important for you, then it is better to avoid it, but if you decide to take the fight, then it is better to start by giving such a person the opportunity to “blow off steam” ", and then calmly express your point of view. But at the same time, do not question his rightness; define your role as that of a peacemaker standing above the conflict. Suppress his rage and aggressiveness with your calmness.

"Sniper". Snipers act differently, they shoot at people with various barbs and witticisms and thereby disrupt the collective actions of employees. Such a person tries to cause trouble for people through fraud, intrigue, and gossip. Usually, he believes that his behavior is completely justified: someone else did something wrong, and he takes on the mission of a secret avenger. Another reason for this behavior is the lack of power resources to carry out open actions. Communication strategy: identify the specific fact of causing harm and its hidden reasons, make it clear to the attacking person that you are above this by saying something like: “What are you trying to achieve with this?” At the same time, remain calm so as not to provoke an open confrontation. The most effective method impact on snipers is a direct attack on them. If you demand that the sniper explain in detail what he thinks under this or that joke, he wilts and becomes quiet. However, one detail is important here: the attack on snipers should be carried out in such a way that they do not lose face. Otherwise, they explode, or hide with a stone in their bosom.

“Explosive people” are those who suddenly fill the room with screams, who attack opponents with abuse. These types lose their temper so artistically that they give others the impression that they have been seriously offended, bitten, as if they are undermining them. The tactics for dealing with these types are very simple: let them throw out the accumulated emotions. Then in about five minutes these types begin to feel the need to apologize.

A person of this type is not evil by nature, but he “explodes”, “ignites” like a child who has Bad mood. Usually, the reason for this behavior is fear and helplessness, and an explosion of emotions demonstrates a desire to take control of the situation. Communication strategy: let the person yell, give vent to his emotions, convince him that you are listening to him, that he is in control of the situation, and thereby calm him down. After this, diplomatically and kindly invite him to discuss the problem that has arisen.

The “leech” does not say nasty things, does not scold or insult, does not directly accuse you of anything, but after communicating with him, your health worsens, your mood decreases or a feeling of fatigue appears, and it is more difficult to direct your thoughts in the right direction.

He does not consider that he is causing any trouble to his interlocutor; he gives his company as a gift and is grateful to himself for taking the initiative in communication.

If he is lethargic and silent, he is still pleased with himself; everyone should appreciate that he forgives a lot.

He knows how to connect his interlocutor to his problems and makes him experience negative emotions.

Methods of counteraction: at the end of the conversation you need to tell “Leech” about your feelings, state, how it changed during the conversation. Without judgment or reproach, describe to him what is happening to you, how you feel.

“Vata” - such a person gives the impression of being pleasant and flexible. He is compliant and accommodating. I like this at the beginning of interaction with him. But then problems often arise: he does not fulfill what he promised, he agrees to do some work and does not do it. This type constantly has unforeseen circumstances that interfere with the fulfillment of what was promised. He does not consider it necessary to speak about such circumstances in a timely manner.

It is quite difficult to thoroughly clarify relations with him, because he agrees with everything. With such a conversation, you can feel uncomfortable when you have to reproach a seemingly friendly and accommodating person. However, we need to remember a few of his actions and show him that words are too far from deeds.

“Accuser” - for him the whole world is full of fools, scoundrels and idlers. But he does not criticize the structure of the world, but very specific people: neighbors, bus drivers, sellers, doctors, co-workers, bosses, government officials... He criticizes with enthusiasm, with fervor, with knowledge of the matter, with facts, findings and conclusions. Has his own clear judgments about who should live and work how. If you try to interrupt the endless accusatory speech, most likely there will be no aggression. There will be slight irritation: either caused by your, of course, inept attempt to blame better than him, or “your myopia” and a vain attempt to justify someone.

The “accuser” is driven by a passionate desire to speak out and be heard. It is useless to try to knock him down; he does not forget the words of his song. Of course, real music is more pleasant to the ears. But what to do? You can learn to do some business while listening to the music of accusatory speeches.

Usually, after one or two hours of tirelessly revealing the truth, it becomes easier for the “accuser” and then you can interrupt him and take the conversation in a different direction. Just don’t try to make it clear, even with the slightest hint, that he is wrong about something or that it seemed to you that he did not express all the arguments. He will repeat two or three more times. Then you will wait at least three hours for the next break in speech.

"Complainant". Typically, there are two types of “complainers”: realistic and paranoid, who complain about imaginary circumstances. In some cases, you may encounter this type of person as a listener, in others, as the subject of their complaints and accusations. They usually pepper their speech with the words “always” or “never.” These types describe their troubles so colorfully that the listener often develops an opinion in their favor. They want to be listened to in a calm environment and certainly while sitting down. The mistake is made by the one who agrees with the complainants or, on the contrary, proves to them that they are wrong. The best thing to do in such cases is to rephrase the complaints in your own words, letting these types know that their feelings have been noticed. Communication strategy: Listen to him, whether he is right or wrong, by doing so you will restore his sense of self-worth. Then, after expressing the essence of his main complaint, it is necessary to look for a way to end the conversation or move it to another topic. It is also recommended to switch his attention to solving the problem, find out what he is going to do, what ways to solve the problem he sees.

"Super flexible." They are always inferior to other people in everything, and at first glance they do not create any special difficulties in the process of interaction, but only at first. From time to time they create problems: you rely on him for everything, and then it turns out that his words are at odds with his deeds. Communication strategy: show him that you want truthfulness on his part, try to convince him that your attitude towards him will be determined not by the fact that he agrees with you in everything, but by how truthful he will be, and how consistent he is will come in the future.

Indecisive people or “stoppers” who cannot make this or that decision because of the fear of making a mistake, so they delay and delay making a decision until this decision is made without them or the need to make it disappears altogether. Usually there are two subtypes: analysts - those who are afraid of making a mistake, and good-natured people - those who do not want to make enemies for themselves. These types of people take so many tentative steps before doing anything that they irritate others. To decide on any step, analysts are ready to rummage through a mountain of documents and do a lot of calculations. Being too cautious, if they decide to do anything, they will certainly achieve success. Those who are indecisive avoid those who put pressure on them. They carry out the instructions imposed on them without enthusiasm.

"Silent"/"quiet". People of this type can be secretive various reasons, and the reasons for this secrecy are unknown to you. The key to resolving the conflict in this situation is to overcome this isolation. Communication strategy: ask several questions, but be sure to do so in such a way as to avoid receiving monosyllabic answers, demonstrate your sympathetic and friendly attitude towards to this person, your support and recognition.

“Know-it-alls” who consider themselves superior to others, since in their own opinion they know everything in the world, and who want everyone in the world to know about this superiority. These are, first of all, erudites, whose judgments turn out to be 75% professionally substantiated, and fake erudites who only try to prove their professionalism in words. Erudites are essentially valuable workers, but they behave in such a provocative manner that they create feelings of inferiority in those around them. Those who, by the will of fate, have to deal with erudites, must always think through their tactics of action. If scholars get too carried away, they can be stopped with specific questions. It should be remembered that scholars rarely agree to admit their mistakes.

Besides these types difficult people there are many more. These include:

- “eternal pessimists” who always foresee failures, so they always try to say “no”, or experience constant anxiety after saying “yes”;

- “mad-maddening” individuals who create hopes in others and then act contrary to expectations, or express contradictory desires and expect you to satisfy them;

Maximalists who want something “here and now” and, moreover, in full.

It's appropriate to give one important advice: Be sympathetic to people whose typical characteristics are described above. Conflict, which has become a personality trait, is difficult to overcome through rational self-control and willpower. Conflict is not the fault, but the misfortune of such people.

Solving the problem of conflicting personalities is one of the complex tasks arising before the manager. Of course, it may seem that the easiest way to solve it is to get rid of personalities of this kind. But in practice this is not always possible, due to the reasons discussed above. Therefore, the most acceptable way to neutralize negative impacts on the part of conflicting individuals is the formation in the organization of a stable moral and psychological climate that can reliably resist any negative trends.

The most important sign of the formation of a mature moral and psychological climate in a group is the formation of a certain style of relationships in it.